When Everyone is a bridezilla.
The term bridezilla was coined to describe brides who behave badly during the process of planning their wedding day as well as on the wedding day. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, brides who complain loudly and often about every detail in their wedding, brides who subject their bridesmaids to harsh treatments and allow little input into decisions regarding their attire, brides who make difficult demands of service providers and brides who generally have unrealistic expectations for the wedding. However, in many cases the bride may not be the problem at all. There may be others involved in the process of planning the wedding who take on this bridezilla role on behalf of the bride. This may include the groom, the parents of the bride or the groom, friends or family members or even an overzealous wedding planner. This article will discuss how brides can deal with situations where someone involved in the process of planning the wedding is acting like a bridezilla.
The easiest bridezilla situation to handle is one where it is the wedding planner who is out of control. Ideally the couple would have carefully screened potential wedding planners to ensure they selected someone who was not only highly recommended but also was a good match for the couple in terms of personality. However, even the most carefully couple may find themselves in a situation where they are faced with a problem of dealing with a wedding planner who is out of control. In this case the easiest and most logical solution is to fire the wedding planner. This may put the couple back a few steps but in the long run it will be the best decision for the couple and plans will go more smoothly with this person no longer involved. In most cases the contract signed will include language on how these issues will be resolved and there will not be disputes. Most wedding planners provide their own contracts for just this reason.
Unfortunately when the parents of the bride or the groom are the ones behaving badly it is not as easy of a situation to resolve. The mother of the bride is notorious for being the one who interferes the most in wedding plans but there are certainly cases where the mother of the groom is the troublemaker. Either of the fathers can also cause problems. Unfortunately in these cases, firing the offending family member is not possible. However, there may be tactful ways to divert the parent away from the planning process. For example the couple may sit down with the parent and thank them for all of the help but let them know they don’t want to continue to be a burden and will start handling more of the responsibility in the wedding planner. This gets the couple out of the difficult situation without mention of the bad behaviour by the parent. How this type of situation is handled will depend on the type of relationship the couple has with the parents. Some couples may be able to point out the rude behaviour and have the parent realise the mistake. Other couples who point out this type of behaviour risk having the parent not attend the wedding because they are insulted.
Friends of the bride and groom can also sometimes be troublesome during the process of planning the wedding. They may interfere where their help is not needed or want, speak rudely to service providers or make decisions they are not authorised to make.
Again, how these situations are handled will depend on the individual and the relationship with the couple. Some couples may be able to speak directly to the offending friend about the problems and work together to resolve the problem. Other couples can get around the problem by simply not including the friend in the planning and keeping discussions about the planning to a minimum. In most cases the friend will realise her help is not needed.
Do It Yourself Wedding Planning (part19) (When Traditions Collide) will be on what’s on in Dartford Tomorrow.
What’s on in Dartford.